


Our Songs

by myblueworld



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Musician, Alternate Universe - No Powers, M/M, Musician!Nico, singer!will, will have a bunch of reference to Troye Sivan's songs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 15:31:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13790682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myblueworld/pseuds/myblueworld
Summary: Alternate Universe.Will was a famous pop singer who has released an album, and some of the singles from that album topped the chart for a couple of weeks.  Grew up in a small town in Tennessee, he started his career by covering some songs on YouTube and he gained a massive amount of followers.  Lou Ellen, the daughter of a recording company’s CEO  convinced her father to offer him a contract.Nico was an indie musician who played guitar and piano and he didn’t really care about what is happening in the entertainment industry. For him, it’s the music that mattered. Not who sang it.One night, probably the stars up above were aligned, or simply it was just fate, but they met.





	1. The Night They Met

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Ever since Troye Sivan dyed his hair into platinum blond, I can't stop thinking about this AU where Will was a singer (and yeah in this imaginary world in my head Will sang Troye's songs). I ended up writing a bulleted list of my headcanon about this idea, at first simply just to get it out of my system (because damn it I have papers to work on!) and posted it on my Tumblr. But apparently, I got quite some responses? So I was like, heck whatever, let's give it a try. And as most of the songs that will make appearances here are song from Troye Sivan, there would be some other songs from other musician/artist.  
> 2\. All the lyrics quoted in this fic belongs to the writer of the songs.  
> 3\. Despite the fact that I have to listen to music whenever I am doing anything, I am tone deaf, I can't sing at all, and the knowledge that I have about song writing process and music industry is next to nothing. So I do apologize for any mistakes and inaccuracies.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico was in the middle of working on a new song in his favorite coffee shop when Hazel called him. Leaving in a rush, he forgot his notebook and left it in the coffee shop.  
> Will found the notebook.

*******

Nico pulled the door and walked in. It was past 9 in the evening already, so there were only a few people in the coffee shop. Jason looked up at him and waved with a smile.

“Hey, Neeks! What can I get you?” He asked as he walked to the register behind the counter.

Nico gave him a half-smile. “Just a medium flat white, please.”

“Sure thing,” Jason nodded as he punched in Nico’s order in the register.

Nico inserted his card into the card-reader and waited until the screen told him to take out his card.

“Okay, it will be right up in a minute,” Jason said.

“Thanks!”

“Oh, and Nico? I love your latest video.”

“Thanks.”  Nico smiled. He tilted his head a bit to the left. “Do you like the song, or you like that Piper was the one singing it?”

How the red color creeping in into Jason’s cheeks was already enough as an answer.

Jason cringed. “Uh. Both.”

Nico smirked at him. “Really?” He asked Jason, a bit teasingly. “I’ll let Piper know that you like her…voice.’

The blush on Jason’s cheeks was even darker now as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh. Thanks.” Then he straightened his back and smiled. “But really. I mean it. That song is really nice, Neeks. “

Nico’s lips curled up into a smile. “Thanks,” he said. “I really appreciate it.”

“You really don’t want to take it to another level? Seriously, you should try sending your demo tape to some recording companies.”

Nico ran a hand through his hair. It was not the first time he had someone giving him a suggestion along that line.

“Maybe. One day. But not soon,” he said. Truth was, it was not something that Nico was aiming for. At least not now.  He liked music. He liked putting in his thoughts into words, creating a melody that he thought fit with the words. But to be a part where music was heavily industrialized? Not something that Nico was crazy about, to say the least.

“Yeah. But with your talent, I’d say it’s something that you should think about,” Jason said. “Lots of artists started as YouTuber, you know.”

Nico chuckled. “Yeah. Maybe it’s their path.”

To be honest, Nico didn’t really think himself as a real YouTuber. It was Piper, his childhood friend, who first made him upload videos of his songs on YouTube. Piper herself had already had her own vlog channel for a few years. She had thousands of followers, who seemed to enjoy Piper’s various content, ranging from makeup tutorial, her reviews on books or her covering some love songs (well, Piper had a great voice, that’s something that Nico would totally agree, that’s why sometimes Nico asked her to sing the songs that he wrote to be uploaded to his own channel). And whenever Annabeth made a special performance on her video, the number of people who liked the video seemed to increase.

So one day, a little bit over a year ago, Nico sat in his living room, Reyna holding a camera to record him singing and playing his guitar. Even though she complained about how Nico let his hair fell on his face, covering almost half of it, Piper kept on pestering him to upload the video. So that’s what Nico did. He uploaded the video without any expectation, other than hoping that Piper would leave him alone after that.

Piper didn’t.

In fact, shortly after Nico uploaded that damn video, Piper uploaded a new video on her channel, rambling about how she had this _awesome talented_ friend, who just started his own channel, providing a link to his video on the description. And well, Piper was Piper. There was just something alluring about her that made people tend to do what she said.

So people came to check his video. And much to Nico’s surprise, apparently it wasn’t that bad? But to be honest, if it wasn’t for a comment from someone who said that the song that Nico wrote and sang really touched them and made them feel better about what they’re going through, Nico wouldn’t have uploaded more videos. That comment made Nico realize that through his songs that he wrote and uploaded, he could somehow help people without meeting or even seeing them to make them feel better, even for just a little bit. Hey, even just a bit better than nothing, right? And it was a concept that Nico found really appealing.

“It could be your path too,” Jason said.

Nico shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe. One day. But not in the near future.”

He turned around and made his way to his favorite spot in the coffee shop, the one in the corner where he could spend hours just writing whatever that comes to his mind that he thought he could develop more into new songs. Sometimes when he had his guitar with him, he would also record some melodies into his phone.

Nico sat on the comfortable chair, and took out a small black notebook. He brought it with him everywhere as it’s where he wrote his ideas.

“Working on a new song?” Jason asked as he placed a carton cup in front of Nico.

Nico hummed as he wrote a new line that just crossed his mind.

“Good luck with that. I’m sure it will be great,” Jason said.

Nico looked up and returned Jason’s smile.

“Thanks,” he said.

Jason nodded and left him.

Nico bit his lower lip as he stared at the lines that he just wrote. He crossed the word _great_ , and wrote _grand_ instead right above the crossed word.

He got so absorbed in it, and it was his phone going off that jolted him back to reality. He slid his hand on the screen and picked his phone up.

“Yes, Hazel?”

“Nico? Can you… uhm… come over?”

Nico knew that his half-sister only used that tone when something happened.

“Sure,” Nico said, quickly stood up and grabbed his jacket. “I’m in The Oracle now so I’ll be there in like… 15 or 20 minutes?”

He could hear the relieved sigh at the other end of the line as he gulped now-cold drink from his cup.

“Oh, thank you, Neeks. Frank is visiting his grandma in Canada, so I don’t know who else to call.”

“Hm. What happened?” Nico said, already walking to the door.

“Leo had this crazy idea-“

Nico groaned as he threw his empty cup to the bin. He half-heartedly waved at Jason and pushed the door. Of course. Of course it was Leo.

“What did he do this time?” Nico asked as he walked out of the coffee shop.

 

*******

Will looked up to the sky above him. There was a nostalgic feeling as he looked up, thinking of those good old days back in his hometown in Tennessee, where the sky was bright because of the stars, not because of the lights from neon lamps like here in New York City. Will let out a sigh as he looked around. It was almost eleven at night, but New York City never slept. Sure, it was not as busy as in the daytime, but there were people walking around him, going wherever they were going to, bringing along the stories of their lives with them as they walked.

Will kept on walking slowly, somehow reminiscing the days when he was just a boy in a small town in Tennessee, recording himself covering some popular songs and uploaded them on YouTube.

It felt like it was just last week, while in reality, he’s been here in NYC for almost two years now. Who would have known that one of his subscribers was the daughter of one of the CEOs in a recording company? Who would have known that those videos he uploaded would lead him released an album last year?

Will sighed and stopped in front of a coffee shop. He looked up at the sign, reading the words “The Oracle” printed in purple colors over green background. Will just realized that ever since he moved to his apartment, just two blocks away, he had passed this coffee shop for a couple of times, but never tried to walk in. He peeked through the window. The coffee shop looked quite comfortable, with warm orange lighting. Will checked the opening hours and pleasantly surprised to see that the coffee shop would open until 2 AM.

He walked in to door and walked in. A tall blond guy with a pair of glasses looked up at him from the book that he was reading. He smiled at Will as he slid down from the stool. Will made his way to the register where the blond guy was standing now.

“Hey, what can I get you tonight?”

Will glanced at the name tag that the blond had on his chest, and read it.

_**Jason.** _

Will smiled at him, feeling somehow grateful that this Jason guy didn’t seem to recognize him.

“Can I get a cappuccino, please?”

“Sure,” Jason punched in his order. Will paid for his order, then turned around. He gazed around, trying to decide where to sit while waiting. Then he saw a table in the corner with two chairs that looked comfortable. Without really thinking about it, he made his way there.

Will pulled one of the chairs to sit on it when his eyes caught something on the floor, below the table. Brows furrowing down a little, he picked it up.

A little black notebook. Will sat down on the chair and opened the book. Maybe the owner had some contact information, so he could tell them that they left the notebook here. Or maybe he could just tell Jason that someone left it.

The first page of the notebook was blank, so Will flipped on to the next page. Some words were written there into a couple of lines. Some of the lines were quite wordy while the other only had one or two words. Out of curiosity, Will read the words.

Something funny pulled his heart.

Whoever it was who wrote this, they were a wonderful writer.

It was like a poetry. A poetry that talk about being tired of waiting for something unknown, about couldn’t take the frustration any longer.

Will reread the words again.

 _Tired of all this waiting  
_ _Can’t you see I’m bleeding?  
_ _That I’m barely moving  
_ _How much can I lose before my time is through?  
_ _Everybody’s watching e_ _verything I'm doing  
_ _Am I just a fraud?_

Will opened the next page, and found other lines like that. Another lines that really touched his heart.

A part of him telling him that he should stop reading, as it looked like something really personal. But another part of him wanting to read more. And this part of him was much stronger.

Will flipped the pages quickly, and stopped at the last page that held the writing.

He read the lines that written there. Some of the words were crossed out, a new word written above each of them.

Will read it, and felt strangely breathless.

The lines were beautiful.

Then he heard someone cleared his throat. Will was still having half of his mind on the words that he was just reading when he looked up to where the voice came from. So he was not ready at all to see that the voice came from a guy with black hair with a pair of dark eyes. And dear God, this guy was beautiful.

“Yes?”

There was something like a conflicted expression on the guy’s face. Like he wanted to be mad at Will but at the same time, he didn't really want to.

“Uh,” the guy pushed away some hair that fell over his forehead. “That is my notebook.”

Will’s eyes darted to the book that he was holding, then back to the guy in front of him.

“This is yours?”

The guy nodded. “Yeah.”

“These words are really beautiful!” Will blurted out.

The guy in front of him blushed instantly. “Uh… Thanks?” he said, sounding somehow unsure.

“Are they poetries?”

The guy bit his lower lip as he stared at Will, like he was contemplating about what he should think of Will. After one or two seconds, the guy huffed.

“Kind of,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck as he gazed down to the floor. "They are actually… Uhm.. Song lyrics.”

Will’s eyes widened. “Are you freaking kidding me? You write your own songs?”

The guy lifted his gaze back to Will and nodded. “Yeah,” he said, half-mumbling.

“Me too!” Will exclaimed excitedly.

The guy arched an eyebrow at Will, looking slightly surprised. “Really?”

Will nodded repeatedly. He pulled his phone out from his pocket. “Yeah. So you know, sometimes the lyrics come to me or sometimes it’s just the melody so I used this app to record…you know… stuff and everything so I can work on them later on,” Will rambled as he fiddled with his phone, opening the app that he was talking about. The guy peeked at Will’s screen.

“Hey! I use that too sometimes!”

Will looked up at him. “You have your stuff with you? Can I listen to it?”

The guy arched up his lips into a small smile. “Only if you’re also going to tell me about your stuff.”

Will grinned. “Sure thing.”

He stretched his hand to the dark-haired guy. “I am Will, by the way.”

“Nico,” the guy took his hand and shook it. “Nico di Angelo.”

It was almost unfair that his name, _di Angelo_ , really suited him, Will thought to himself as Nico pulled the chair across of him and took a sit.

“So, Nico,” Will said, leaning forward a little. “Do you, by any chance have any recording or whatever for this one?” Will asked, pushing Nico’s notebook towards him, opened on the page with the first lines in that book that Will had read.

“Oh, Stronger? Yeah, let me pull that one up,” Nico said as he fished his phone out from his pocket.

Will watched as Nico fiddled with his phone. He wondered, maybe up there, the stars were aligned. And maybe that was why he came into this coffee shop. Maybe that was why he found the small notebook. Maybe that was why he met Nico.

 

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics quoted in this chapter is from the song Stronger, by Fyfe


	2. "Who are you?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico and Will spent some hours working on a song.  
> But the next day, Will woke up just to find that Nico has already gone.

*******

 

“So, I was thinking that maybe, this part could be the bridge-“

“Uhm, guys?”

Both Nico and Will turned their heads, finding Jason who awkwardly shifted his weight to his heels.

“Uh, I hate to interrupt. But uh… I have to close the shop now.”

Nico glanced at the watch on his left wrist while Will was checking the time on his phone.

Nico raised his eyebrows in surprise to see that it was 1.50 AM.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” In front of him, Will turned his head to Jason. “I didn’t realize that it’s been this late!”

Nico turned his head to Jason too. “Sorry, Jason.”

Jason laughed and waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry. Looks like you two were having such an interesting discussion.”

Indeed they were. They found some recording of Will’s humming a melody that Nico felt could really fit the song that he was writing. And to be honest, Nico really _really_ liked Will’s soft singing voice.

“Hey,” Will turned his head back to Nico. “I know that it might sound…weird or something. But my apartment is like, only two blocks away from here and I have some, you know, instruments. Keyboards and guitars and…stuff. So maybe… we can go there? And work on this some more?”

Nico raised his eyebrows in surprise. Will’s hand flew to his head and he nervously ran a hand over it.

“I.. I mean only if you want to?” He added, looking somehow nervous.

“Yeah! Sure!” Nico nodded. “That sounds great!”

Nico rarely found someone with whom he could talk about music with this sort of excitement. And there was this adrenaline rush that he had just from discussing this one song with Will. He knew it, he could feel it, that _this_ , this could potentially be one of the best songs that he would have ever written. They just need to work on it a little bit more.

A bright brilliant smile quickly spread on Will’s lips. It was ridiculous that those eyes could look so beautifully bright and blue at almost 2 AM in the morning.

“Awesome,” Will said as he stood up. “Come on. I can’t wait to hear how this would sound on the keyboard.”

Following what he did, Nico also stood up, and grabbed his jacket from the chair. Will’s excitement was somehow contagious. His smile was also contagious.

After thanking Jason and once again, apologizing for staying a little bit too long, the two of them quickly walked out of the coffee shop.

 

*******

Just like what Will said, his place was not far from The Oracle. But Nico seriously did not expect it when Will lead him to enter a fancy apartment complex.

“Wow,” he said, looking around as Will lead them to the elevator after they passed the sophisticated reception area.

“You live here?” Nico turned his head to Will, who was pressing the button on the elevator.

Will hummed and nodded. Under the bright light, Nico could see that Will was blushing. The elevator ding as its door slid open.

“Fancy,” Nico said as he stepped into the elevator.

“It’s just for work,” Will said, half-mumbling. “It’s not like… real home or anything.”

Nico glanced at Will. The blond gazed down to the elevator floor, but Nico could see something behind those eyes that looked like a longing feeling.

“Where is home, then?”

Will angled his neck to Nico and gave him a small, rather sentimental smile. “Tennessee,” he said.

“Nice,” Nico nodded.

The elevator door opened with another ding. They walked out of it and Nico let Will lead him to one of the doors in the corridor.

Will unlocked the door and stepped in, then held the door for Nico. Nico stepped in. He whistled as he took a few steps into the apartment.

“Nice place,” he said, turning his head to Will.

Will ran a hand through his curls and smiled awkwardly. “Yeah, it’s pretty decent.”

Nico gazed around again while Will walked with wide steps to a corner of the room. Nico’s eyes fell for a second to some pictures on the wall, and for a fleeting second he had a feeling like he’d seen that picture somewhere. But then Will’s excited voice jolted his head to a corner of the room. Will was standing in front of a set of electronic piano keyboard, hands hovering above the keys.

“Nico? What do you think?” He asked, then played some tunes. Nico listened, feeling even more excited now that he really could hear parts of what they had been talking about for the last few hours coming out from a real instrument. Will looked up at him expectantly. Nico quickly made his way to the instrument set, and took a seat on one of the benches by the keyboard. Just a quick glance at how Will set up the whole instrument set already showed that Will used the set quite frequently.

“Play it again,” Nico nodded. Will grinned, and played the tunes once again, humming softly under his breath. Nico closed his eyes as he was listening to the few tunes that Will was playing. He could already imagine Will’s soft voice singing the lyrics that Nico wrote to the melody that he was playing.

When Will stopped, Nico opened his eyes, already smiling because he had this great feeling that yeah, this going to be great.

 

*******

Nico has never worked with someone else before on writing a song. So he was surprised to find how he enjoyed working with Will. Somehow they seemed to have the same vision on the song that they were working on. Three hours later, they decided that what they had was quite decent for a very rough and raw draft of the song.

Will suggested to have some ice cream as a break. Even though it seemed like it was a very absurd idea considering it’s past 5 AM in the morning, Nico agreed. He didn’t even question why Will had 4 different flavors in his freezer.

“Can I ask you something?” Will asked him.

Nico licked his spoon as he hummed, looking at the TV screen that was showing some weird documentary about spaceship without really watching it.

“What inspired you to write that lyric?”

A dull pain ached in Nico’s heart. It’s been years. And the pain was no longer bleeding.

Did not mean it no longer hurt him.

Not as much as it used to. But the dull pain was still there.

“My sister, Bianca,” Nico said without any expression in his voice. “She died twelve years ago. Cancer.”

Will hummed.

Nico took another spoonful of his ice cream.  

“One of my cousins died because of cancer too.”

Nico raised his eyebrows and turned his head to Will. Will had his eyes on the TV but his expression was rather blank.

“Cynthia was 5 years old when she died.”

Nico bit his lower lip. “Bianca was 12,” Nico said. “I was only 10.”

“Hard times, huh?” Will turned his head to Nico. “I was barely 11 that time. Cynthia’s brother, David, he was 10. I remember trying my best not to cry. For him. Like, he kept on crying on my shoulder.”

“I had no one with me at that time.”

His Mamma already passed away two years before that. And Bianca’s death only made Nico’s father drown even deeper in his grief and sorrow.

Will looked at him, blue eyes were soft with sincerity. “Sorry, man. Must be even harder for you. To be like…alone that time.”

Nico glanced at him. He could see the genuine kindness in Will’s eyes, and somehow it felt…kind of nice. Nico gave him a small smile as he quietly thanked Will.

“Anyway,” Nico put his now-empty bowl on the coffee table. He glanced at his phone. It was 5.21 in the morning.  “Don’t you need to be like.. at work soon? Or school? Anything?”

Will let out a small laugh. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I don’t have anything scheduled for today. At least that’s what my man-“ he stopped and coughed. “I mean, my calendar said.”

At the back of his head, there was something that Nico found a bit…weird on Will’s answer. But his brain was too fuzzy for now and his body was screaming to have some rest.

“Oh,” Nico said and yawned. “So, do you mind if I crashed here in your couch for just a few hours?”

“Not at all,” Will said as he took Nico’s empty bowl from the coffee table. “You know, I have a vacant guest room. It will be more comfortable,” he said as he stood up, holding their bowls.

Nico shook his head. He’s already too tired to move and Will’s couch was warm and comfortable.

“It’s okay,” Nico said as he reached out for one of the throw pillows. “Here is fine,” he said, sprawling himself out on the couch.

Will chuckled, but Nico already closed his eyes.

“Okay,” Will said. “Suit yourself.”

Nico only hummed to reply Will. Will’s soft footsteps walking away to the kitchen was the last thing that he remembered hearing. When Will came back from the kitchen, Nico already fell asleep.

Even when Will spread a fluffy blue blanket over him, Nico was already in a deep sleep to realize it.

 

*******

It was the insistent ringing of his phone that made Will wake up. He groaned as he searched for his phone. When he found it, Will opened his eyes, finding a picture of Kayla on the screen.

Will slid his finger on the screen. He already closed his eyes again as he brought his phone to his ear.

“What?” Will asked, voice raspy from the sleep.

“William Solace! You’re alive!”

Will groaned again. “What do you want, Kayla?”

“Will, it’s almost 1.30.”

“And?”

“You just woke up?”

Will sighed. He opened his eyes, then sat up and ran a hand over his face. “Uh huh.”

“What happened?”

“Kayla, can’t you leave me in peace for just once? This is one of my day off, right? Let me enjoy it!”

“Okay. This is interesting. Why do I have a feeling that something happened last night?”

“Huh?”

“OH MY GOD DID YOU GOT LAID LAST NIGHT?”

Will cringed and pulled the phone away from his ear.

“Will? WILL!”

Will rolled his eyes and pressed the phone back to his ear. “Hey, can I call you back later? I need to check something up.”

“Oh my goodness. I knew it! Something definitely happened. You owe me an explanation, Will.”

Will ended the call without saying anything. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. Then something struck in his mind.

 _Nico_ , Will thought as he dropped his hands to his laps. _Is he still here?_

Will jumped off the bed and leaped to the floor. He opened the door, and with wide steps walking to the living room, to the couch where he saw Nico the last time.

Nobody was there.

Will froze, staring at the empty room. The blue blanket was now neatly folded, placed carefully at one end of the couch. The curtains were drawn open now, letting the sunlight in. The papers where they wrote notes and stuff were now neatly stacked on the coffee table.

Will sighed, a strange disappointment filling in his stomach. He ran his fingers through his hair and slowly walked to the couch. He sat down, and stared at the papers, at the messy handwriting, some were his, some were Nico’s.

Will took the stack of paper, and that’s when he saw some notes scribbled on the paper. A box was drawn around the sentences to make it distinctive from the rest of the scribbled notes on the paper.

Will read the words written inside of the box

_**That was fun. We should do it again.** _

Below those words were some numbers, followed with the word _**Nico**_.

Will reread it again, and smiled.

Still holding the paper in his hand, Will made his way back to his bedroom. He grabbed his phone, and easily found Kayla’s number.

It didn’t take long before she picked up the call.

“Yes?”

“Hey Kayla? Can you drop by to my apartment some time tonight? I need to talk with you about something.”

 

*******

It was not like Nico had really been waiting for it when Will finally texted him two days later. And when Will asked to meet him and said he wanted to talk about their project, no, Nico did not expect anything more than that. They were indeed, working on a song. Of course that was a project. Nico did not hope that it would lead into…something more.

Of course not.

And that was something that Nico kept on telling himself as he stood in front of his closet, trying to find something to wear.

Why would he try to impress Will?

They would only going to continue working on that song, and that’s all.

If Nico ended up wearing a dark gray sweater, which was just slightly a bit nicer than his usual daily outfit, it was simply because Nico wanted to. Just because.

Nico pulled the door of The Oracle and stepped in. It was 9 in the evening. And yeah, it was quite late, quite a bizarre time for a meet-up with someone. But hey, probably it was the only time Will had some free time. Nico knew that some people have uncommon working hours. Nico himself, with his job as a web developer, he had quite flexible hours.

And considering that it was almost midnight when they first met, Nico didn’t think he had anything to complain about.

Jason greeted him with a smile.

“Hey, Neeks,” he said as Nico walked to the counter. “Your new friend’s here.”

Nico tried to ignore how his heartbeat doubled.

“Yeah,” Nico said, running a hand over his head. “We’re..uh.. We’re meeting up.”

Jason raised his eyebrows. And for a second, Nico thought there was a strange expression on Jason’s face. But he didn’t have the chance to think about it too much, as a voice calling his name made Nico’s head snap to his left.

“Hey, Nico! Over here!”

Will waved at him from where he was sitting, not too far away from the counter. He was wearing a dark blue flannel over a white shirt, that looked a great contrast to his blond hair.

For a second, Nico’s heart skipped a beat to see Will’s bright smile.

But the next second, he saw a girl with short ginger hair sitting in front of Will. The girl too, smiling at Nico.

For unknown reasons, Nico felt his stomach lurched down. But he managed to stretch his lips into a thin smile as he raised his hand to greet Will back.

“So, what can I get you for tonight?” Jason asked, making Nico turn to look at him again.

“Just a medium flat white, please,” Nico said.

“Sure,” Jason said. Then he smiled at Nico. “And don’t worry. It’s on the house.”

Nico raised his eyebrows but Jason already waved his hand dismissively.

“It’s fine, really,” Jason said. “It will be right up in a second.”

Nico smiled at him. “Thanks, Jason,” he said.

Nico took a deep breath and turned around. He slid his hands into his pocket and made his way to the table where Will and the girl were sitting.

“Nico! Glad that you can make it!” Wil said, still beaming that bright smile. “How is it going?”

Nico pulled a chair and sat there.

“I’m alright,” Nico nodded at Will. “How are you?”

Will brushed some of his blond locks away from his forehead. “I’m good.”

“So, you’re Nico?” The ginger-haired girl asked, sounding curious. Nico turned his head from Will to the girl. The girl had some bright green streaks on her ginger hair.

“Yeah,” Nico said. “I’m Nico.”

“Ah, nice to finally meet you,” the girl said, extending her hand to Nico. Nico took it for a polite but quick handshake. “I’m Kayla. Nice to meet you,”

Nico pulled his hand away. “Nice to meet you too.”

“I’m Will’s manager, by the way.”

Nico froze for a second.

_She was Will’s what?_

Nico blinked. “Excuse me?” he asked. “You are his …what, once again?”

“Oh, I am Will’s manager,” Kayla said once again, still cheerfully.

Nico slowly turned his head back to Will. Will’s cheeks were blushing in red color.

“You have a manager,” Nico said, trying to process the words as he was saying it.

“Uh, yes?” Will said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Nico stared at Will, wondering why Will would need to have a manager and why he needed to bring her along with him, when he heard a familiar voice coming from the register area.

“Oh. My. God.”

The three of them quickly turned their heads to where the voice came from.

Rachel stood with both hands covering her mouth. Her eyes were wide as she walked towards the table that they were sitting.

Rachel slowly slid her hand down from covering his mouth as she stood two steps away from their table.

“It’s really you!” Rachel said, half-squealing. “You’re Will Solace!”

Nico snapped his head to stare at Will, even more confused now.

“Who _are_ you, Will?”

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Just a trivial additional notes, my favorite football player, David, he had a cousin named Cynthia who died because of cancer. David had her name tattooed on his wrist and he kissed the tattoo every time he scored a goal.  
> 2\. Please fuel my motivation through kudos, comments and feedbacks


	3. The Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will tried to explain to Nico about who he really was.  
> But besides an explanation, he also had something to ask from Nico.

*******

Will might, or might not, have prepared and practiced some lines that he would say in front of Nico to explain things. But having someone who recognized him aas who he really was, it wasn't something that he had in any of the scenarios he had imagined.

“Who _are_ you Will?”

Will stared at Nico, who looked terribly confused. Somehow, it made Will feel guilty. Well, it wans't like he’s been lying to Nico. It was just…he had not told some details about himself to Nico.

The shock of having things not going exactly like what he had planned before made Will out of words. He had no idea on how to answer Nico’s question.

The red-haired girl turned to Nico. She stared at Nico, her eyes widening almost comically.

“Wait,” she said to Nico. “ _What_?”

Nico crossed his arms over his chest as he angled his neck to level his gaze at the girl.

“What?”

“You mean, you are sitting here, having coffee with Will Solace,” the girl waved her hand dramatically at Will. “And you have no idea about how Will is literally, one of the hottest icon in pop music, who just won the Best Rising Star of the Year of the Olympus Award two weeks ago?”

Nico stared at the girl for a second, then he shook his head.

“No, Rachel,” he said. “I don’t know.”

He looked back at Will, and held his eyes at him as he continued. “And honestly, Rachel? For now, I don’t think I know anything _at all_ about him.”

“Nico, listen. I can explain,” Will said.

“Good. Because I need explanation,” Nico said, his face was now a blank canvas with no expression.

Rachel’s eyes darted from Nico to Will then back to Nico again. She seemed to sense the tension between them. But from her expression, strangely, it looked like she was a bit amused by the whole situation.

“Oh, well. Then I guess I should leave the two of you to get to know each other better, then,” she said. Then she turned to Will and grinned. “But can I at least get some pictures with you? If you haven’t figured it out yet, I am a fan! I’ve been following you since you’re on YouTube”

Will smiled at her. Despite the awkward situation at the moment, he enjoyed meeting his fans. For Will, his fans were one of the main reason where he got to where he was now.

“Sure,” Will said as he stood up from the chair.

Rachel squealed with delight as she opened the camera on her phone. Will stood next to her, and they took a few selfies. Kayla even offered to take a few more pictures.

“Oh, thank you so much!” Rachel said, hugging Will. “You are as sweet as what people said.”

“You’re very welcome,” Will said as he hugged Rachel back. “Thank you for your support. It really means a lot,” Will said as he pulled away from Rachel.

“Okay, I’ really going to leave you now. And please be patient with my friend,” Rachel said. She flashed a smirk at Nico. “Nico is actually such a softie once you go pass through his gothic layer on the outside,” she added.

“Oh, really?” Will grinned and stole a glance at Nico, who had a cute small put as he glared at Rachel.

“I’ll get you for that, Rachel!”

Rachel chuckled. “Bye, Nico,” she said. “And Will, it was such nice surprise to meet you here.”

Will smiled as he nodded. “Nice meeting you too.”

Will watched Rachel walked to the door. She waved at Jason before pushing the door open and disappeared.

“You know, this should be the part where you give me that explanation.”

Will quickly looked back at Nico. Nico held his eyes at Will, with his arms crossed over his chest. His face was a blank canvas, and his eyes held no emotion.

Will sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know where to start.”

“You can start by telling me who you are.”

Will stretched his lips into a thin line before he answered.

“Well, I used to be a… YouTuber.”

“Was,” Nico said flatly. “What are you now?”

“I’m a singer. Musician. Artist. Whatever,” Will shrugged his shoulders. “I make music. I write songs and sing it.”

Now that he had said it loud, Will gained more confidence. Because he was saying the truth. He’s always loved music ever since he could remember. One of his first memories was a 3-year old him, singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow with broken words in front of the fireplace while his mother was clapping her hands along as he sang, smiling brightly at him.

“So yeah,” Will said, voice steadier this time, and he was smiling slightly. “I write songs and sing in front of people. That’s who I am. That’s what I do.”

While he still kept his eyes level with Will, Nico still said nothing. But at least, his expression got a bit softer. His eyes didn’t look as cold as they were.

After two heartbeats passed in silence, Nico gave a single microscopic nod.

“Okay,” he said. “So you’re a singer. A musician. An artist.”

Will nodded, trying not to wince at how Nico said each of the words slowly. It was almost like when Nico was the one saying it, those words had different meanings.

“And you even have a manager,” Nico said, his eyes darted to where Kayla was sitting on the other side of the table.

Kayla grinned as she lifted her hand a little. “Yeah, otherwise Will would mix up his whole schedule. He could not even remember what’s the next city he would be for the next event.”

Will snapped his head at Kayla. “I’m not that bad,” he said. “I know what’s next on the list.”

“Really?” Kayla turned her head at Will, arching an eyebrow as her lips curled up into a small smirk. “What city is next?”

“Uh…?” Will scratched the back of his ear. “Florida?”

Kayla let out a small laughter. “You wish,” she said, shaking her head lightly. “It’s Chicago.”

Will gasped a little. “But Chicago is so cooold,” he said, almost whining.

Kayla only rolled his eyes. She turned her head at Nico, who now has the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes. Kayla tilted her head at Nico. She said nothing, only raised her eyebrows a little, as if saying _See? He needs me_.

Nico’s eyes moved to Kayla, and there was a small smirk playing on his lips. “He really needs you to deal with his life, huh?”

Kayla’s grinned and nodded. “He surely needs me.”

Will’s eyes moved back and forth from Nico to Kayla and back to Nico again. “I can’t believe this. The two of you just met like, fifteen minutes ago and you've already conspired against me?”

Kayla laughed while Nico only looked at Will, that small smirk ghosting over his lips.

“Anyway,” Nico leaned forward now, and folded his arms on the table. “What makes an artist like you want to see me?”

Suddenly remembering what was it that he wanted to talk about with Nico sparked something inside Will. Mirroring Nico, he folded his arms on the table.

“So, here’s the thing. That song that we wrote, kind of, worked on together? The one about watching the stars?”

Something flashed in Nico’s eyes, but he said nothing. He only nodded, signaling Will to continue.  Will continued, slowly feeling the excitement filling him up again with energy.

“We, I mean, my label and I, we plan to release an EP n like… a few months? We’re still working on it and we have like, 3 or 4 songs already. But we need more. We want more songs. I mean, even though maybe some of it won’t make the cut?” Will continued talking, this time his hands moved around as he talked, a bit faster now that he got more and more excited.

“We have decided which single that we will release first. It’s titled Youth? But we want another song for the second single to release. And I just feel like… That song that we wrote? It will be perfect. Because you know, Youth is like that, pop-kind of song, a bit up-beat tempo. And our song about stars, we really have to decide on a title for that song, by the way. I know that it’s a perfect balance. Because it’s like, a soft ballad and just…perfect? You know what I mean?”

Will stopped, half-panting as he stared at Nico. He tried to read Nico’s expression but again, Nico’s face didn’t show anything but a blank expression. Somehow it made Will feel nervous. Because now he just realized that yes, he was excited, but what about Nico? What did _he_ think about this? What would he say about this?

Will took out a deep breath as he prepared himself to ask Nico question.

“So. I was wondering. What would you say if I have that song as one of the songs for my upcoming EP? You’ll have the copyright of the song, of course. And I think, it would be really great, if you can even be one of the producers of that song.”

Will clasped his hands, propping his chin on them as he carefully watched Nico’s expression. It took two seconds before Nico said something.

“I’ve never been like, being involved in a professional recording.”

“it’s okay,” Will quickly said. “You can learn by doing. And seeing the people who’ve been doing it. My team will help you. Austin! Austin would love to work with you. And Cecil too! Right, Kayla?” Will turned his head to Kayla, looking for some support.

Kayla nodded. “As long as you have the passion for music, which I’m pretty sure you have, it’s not that hard. I think it’s something that you will enjoy.”

Will looked back at Nico. “See? And the people in the label are cool people. You’re going to love them. Lee, my producer? He’s like…one of the nicest person ever. Honestly though, I’m just so happy to be with the people from Apollo. I mean, the label."

“Of course, if you agree, there will be some legal stuff that we need to deal with. But don’t worry about it. That’s something that I and Lou Ellen will help you with,” Kayla added.

This time, there was a wary expression on Nico’s face as his eyes darted from Will to Kayla, like he was trying to decide whether he could trust them.

 _At least he didn’t say no_ , Will quietly thought, trying to stay positive. _At least he didn’t immediately reject the idea._

Then Nico let out a long sigh as he ran a hand over his head.

“I don’t know, Will,” he said. “This is all…too sudden for me, you know?”

Will chewed his lower lip, but nodded. “Yeah, I know. Sorry about that.”

Nico’s eyes were fixed on the table as he absently tapped his chin.

 _He hasn’t said no yet_ , Will told himself as he quietly waiting

“Can I think about it first?” Nico finally said, lifting his head to meet Will’s eyes.

“Of course,” Will said, nodding his head quickly. “Take as much time as you need.”

 _At least he didn’t say no_ , Will kept on telling himself as they left the coffee shop 10 minutes later.

 _At least he said he’d think about it_ , Will telling himself as he lied on his bed a few hours later.

 _Oh dear God I really hope he’ll say yes_ , Will thought to himself before he fell asleep that night

 

*******

Three days later, Will woke up to find a text on his phone.

Will read the text, reread it, then reread it again. His smile got wider every time he read it.

_**From: Nico di Angelo** _

_**1.21 AM:** [You know what? Let’s do this]_

 

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I actually planned to write just one chapter but when I finished, I realized that it was like, too long for one chapter (at least for my standard). I decided to divide it into two chapters instead, so probably the next chapter would be up sooner than what I have planned.  
> 2\. Kudos, comments, and feedbacks are always loved <3.  
> 3\. A bit OOT but please listen to Troye's newest song, "Strawberries and Cigarettes". It's also one of the soundtrack for the movie 'Love, Simon'


	4. The Song and the Singing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will sang one of the songs that Nico once wrote, a long long time ago.  
> Then Will sang the song that they wrote together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually finished this chapter like, last week? But for some reason, I just could not make myself post it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it :)

* * *

Nico had never written a song with someone else before. And he’s never been in a professional recording studio before. So his first experience of visiting the recording studio where Will did his work was overwhelming. In a good way. All the shiny musical instruments and sophisticated mixing stuff amazed him. And Will was not lying when he said that the people in his team were amazing. Probably because all of them were passionate about music, Nico didn’t find it that difficult to start talking with them. And he instantly hit it off with Austin, the one who usually played keyboard for Will when was performing. And just like Kayla said, Nico found that the whole song writing and producing stuff in a studio was something that he learnt quite quickly, and he enjoyed every moment of it.

So Nico spent most, almost all, of his spare time when he was not working, either in the studio or in Will’s apartment. If he’s not working on the song (they finally managed to come up with a title that everyone agreed with), he just hung out there, writing some small pieces that he kept because who knew, maybe he could come back to those small pieces later on and made them into something. Sometimes he would play the instruments, or jamming with the others to some songs, usually with Austin. Austin even agreed to help Nico with a new song that Nico has started writing.

It was not even two weeks later when they decided that they could start the real recording process for Will’s single. They have finished recorded all the music tracks yesterday so now they only needed to record Will’s vocal. Then it would be the final mixing. Lee Fletcher, the producer, he was even confident enough that they would have the final version of the song by tomorrow, or even tonight. And if everyone’s happy with it, they just need to send it to the mastering engineer as the final step for the song production. The first song where Nico professionally became one of the co-writers, and he was even acknowledged as one of the song-producers.

Nico was excited about it. Maybe a bit too excited. When he walked in to the studio, no one was there yet. Then Nico realized that he was too early for a good one hour. Nico shrugged his shoulders,  and crossed the room to pick up one of the acoustic guitars that was lying around in the room. He slumped himself to the couch, and started strumming the guitar. He played a few notes, then before he knew it, he was already absorbed in playing something that he’d had in his head for a few days now. He hummed along as he played the melody, already thinking about the lyrics that he had written in his notebook.

“That was really nice.”

Nico’s heart stopped beating for a second as his head jolted up. Will stood in front of him, holding a cup that smelled of coffee, his other hand was hidden in his pocket. He had a gentle smile on his lips, his blue eyes were twinkling. He was wearing an old denim shirt that he left unbuttoned over a simple white shirt.

“Sorry,” Will said, flashing an apologetic smile. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you, but that was really beautiful.”

Nico felt a strange flutter in his chest as he let his gaze fell down to the floor. It was not the first compliment that he’d ever received. But, the fact that it was coming from Will, somehow it made it feel more special.

“Thanks,” Nico said but kept his eyes at the floor.

Will walked to the other end of the couch and sat there. Nico kept on playing some random notes on the guitar.

“Are you going to upload it on your channel? The song that you were just playing?”

Nico shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe,” he said, still not looking at Will. “I don’t know. It’s not finished yet.”

“I’m sure it’s going to be great.”

Nico flashed him a smile and continued playing the guitar. For no reason, he started playing one of his older songs.

“I know that song,” Will said, making Nico stop and turn his head to Will. “I like it. A lot,” Will added, then sipped his coffee.

Nico raised his eyebrows. “Are you stalking my videos?”

For a second, it looked like Will was blushing. Maybe. Will pulled his legs up and leaned his back against the armrest of the couch so he was facing Nico.

“No,” he said, holding his cup with both hands as he peeked at Nico over the brim of his cup. “I was just… you know, scrolling through your old videos.”

Nico chuckled. “That one was like, one of my oldest videos.”

“I like it,” Will said. “It’s…I know that it’s not the happiest song, but it’s deep and honest.”

Nico smiled slightly. He remembered he wrote the lyric for the song when he was in high-school, when he was having a hard time dealing with his social anxiety and self-worth. He remembered writing those lyrics as he locked himself up in his room, trying to fight his own demon in himself who kept on telling him that he belonged nowhere. And even though Hazel was already around at that time, a tense relationship with his new step-mother, who seemed to scold everything that Nico did, it didn’t make things easier for him Basically, he wrote that one when he was in one of his darkest times.

“Play it for me, please?”

Nico tilted his head a little. The left corner of his lips curling up into a half-smile. “Only if you sing with it.”

Will’s smile was soft but his eyes, his blue eyes were bright and for a second Nico thought of how beautiful he was.

“Okay,” Will said, still smiling that beautiful soft smile. “I’ll sing.”

Nico shifted, and started playing the intro.

He was slightly surprised, but at the same time, delightful to see how Will started singing perfectly on the right notes.

                                      “ _I spend too much time in my room._  
_I keep too many secrets from you._  
_I like to be alone but it’s bad for me.  
__Because I spend too much time in my room_.”

Nico kept his eyes at Will, and got even more surprised when Will continued singing the second verse, like he already memorized the lyrics of the song.

 _"I spend too much time on my phone._  
_I know I’ve said I liked being alone._  
_But I care way too much about what they think  
_ _So I spend too much time on my phone."_

Nico kept on playing the guitar. And Will kept on singing.

 _"My mama don’t like my tattoos_  
_So I had to act like I do_  
_The only thing that I learned in school  
_ _Is life treats you well if you’re cool._

The song didn’t really have a chorus. And just like Will said, the lyrics were not exactly talking about sunshine and unicorns and happiness. But the way Will sang it, how his voice seemed to be filled with raw emotions, it was something that sent a shiver down Nico’s spine. Will sang along as Nico played the guitar, seemed to have memorized all the lyrics.

His voice somehow sounded even softer when he was singing the last verse of the song.

 _"_   _Sometimes I still think about you_  
_I don’t tell you all the things I used to_  
_Don’t like to admit that it’s bad for me  
_ _But I spend too much time in my room"_

 Nico put the guitar away on the floor and stared at Will in amazement.

“Oh wow,” he said. “Will, that was…really nice.”

Will turned his head away from Nico for a second, but it could not hide his cheeks from blushing.

“Thanks,” Will said as he looked back at Nico. “But really, Nico. I love that song so much. It’s really…” he paused and chewed his lower lip, like he was trying to find the right words. “Relatable? I don’t know. I just feel like that song really speaks the words that I don’t think I could have said by myself.”

“And you sang it perfectly, Will.”

Their eyes met in silence for a moment, and Will’s eyes were so blue, so bright, so beautiful, Nico was breathless for a second. He suddenly had this urge to cradle Will’s cheek with his hand, to ran his fingers through Will’s blond curls, to slowly trace-

“Yo! You two already here!”

Austin’s loud and cheerful greeting jolted them both back to the reality. Nico quickly picked the guitar back just so he had something that he could hold on to, as he tried to tell his doubling heartrate to go back to normal. Will jumped off the couch. He seemed to incidentally spill some of his coffee to his shirt as some small dark spots were now staining his shirt.

“Oh! Austin! You’re here!” Will greeted Austin, voice suspiciously a pitch higher than usual.

“Yeah, it’s almost 11 already,” Austin said as he walked down to the couch. “We should start at 11, right?” Austin asked and sat on the couch.

“Right! Right!” Will said, nodding his head so quickly, it was almost like his head about to fall of from his neck. “I’m just… uh… gonna get more coffee.”

The next second, Will already left them with wide steps, then disappeared behind the door.

Austin turned his head to Nico, who absently fiddled with the guitar.

“Is he okay?” Austin asked.

Nico made a non-committal sound before he answered. “I think so?”

Austin shrugged his shoulders. “Okay,” he said. Then he grinned and playfully punched Nico’s shoulder. “Anyway, we’re recording the vocal today. I’m pretty sure that Lee would let us hear the final mix by tonight. Exciting, huh?”

Nico lifted his head to smile at Austin. “Yeah. It is,” he said.

In fact, he couldn’t wait to hear the final version of the song.

 

*******

Nico put the headphones on and stared at Will through the glass window that was separating them. Next to him, Lee leaned forward a little.

“Ready, Will?”

Will stretched his lips into a small smile and gave them a thumb up.

“Great,” Lee nodded. “Three, two, one.”

Nico’s hand flew to earphone as the Will started singing along the first note of the instrument.

 _"The weight of a simple human emotion weighs me down_  
_More than the tank ever did_  
_The pain it’s determined and demanding to ache  
_ _But I’m okay"_

Nico’s chest contracted as Will’s voice softly turned a bit louder as he sang the chorus

_And I don’t want to let this go, I don’t want to lose control_  
_I just want to see the stars with you_  
_And I don’t want to say goodbye_  
_Someone tell me why  
_ _I just want to see the stars with you_

They have practiced the song a couple of times in the pre-production process. But this time, listening to Will singing it, it just felt…magical.

Will kept on singing. Nico knew for sure that Will had this soft singing voice that was also strong enough to reach higher notes. But as Will reached the bridge, with the instruments slowly intensified, it was like an angel slowly floating down from Heaven, singing for the stars hanging in the sky.

 _Don’t give it up just yet, stay grand for one more minute_  
_Don’t give it up just yet, stay grand_  
_Don’t give it up just yet, stay grand for one more minute_  
_Don’t give it up just yet, stay grand_  


Will kept on singing to the chorus, right after the bridge. He had his eyes at Nico, and even with the distance between them, and the glass window, it was like Will staring right at him, through him.

And as Will sang the words, for just that moment, Nico felt like Will was singing for him, only for him.

 _And I don’t want to let this go, I don’t want to lose control_  
_I just want to see the stars with you_  
_And I don’t want to say goodbye_  
_Someone tell me why  
_ _I just want to see the stars with you_

Will’s voice was so soft, almost like he was whispering as he sang the very last line of the song, still with his eyes at Nico

_With you_

And at that moment, Nico realized how wonderful, how delightful it would be. To watch the stars above them with Will.

Only with Will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The song quoted in this chapter: I Spend Too Much Time in My Room by The Band Camino, and The Fault in Our Stars by Troye Sivan  
> 2\. Kudos, comments and feedbacks are always highly appreciated <3  
> 3\. The next chapter will have another one of Troye’s songs. Any guess on what song will it be ;p?


	5. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Will asked Nico a few questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still alive! Yeah, I know that it's been more than a month since the last time I updated this fic, but guess who finally passed the defense for her dissertation???

*******

Will sneaked a peek at Nico, who was sitting at the other end of the couch. They had a meeting with the other people from Will’s production team earlier that night at Will’s apartment, talking about the progress of Will’s upcoming EP. But while the others had left about half an hour ago, Nico decided he’d hang out for a while.

So now there were only the two of them, watching some old episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Nico was laughing at something that Gina just said. Even though Will found Gina to be annoying sometimes, Gina Linetti was on Nico’s top 3 favorite characters of the show. He said that she kind of reminded him to one of his aunts.

Taking another sip of Coke from the can that he was holding, Will stole another glance at Nico. He still didn’t know how to ask the thing that he had been wondering for a while without being…too straightforward.

“What?”

Will choked on the coke. When his coughing subsided, he brushed his mouth with the heel of his hand.

“What what?” He asked Nico back.

Nico looked at him with some sort of amused expression.

“You’ve been glancing at me like…” Nico shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Like you want to say something.”

“Huh? Really?”  Will looked away from Nico. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Nico stared at him. Then he looked back to the TV.

After a few seconds of hesitation, Will took a deep breath.

“You know,” he said, “I’ve been watching a few of your old videos.”

 _A few_ were a kind of an understatement. Will has watched every single video in Nico’s channel. It was something that Will found hard to believe, that no producer had come across Nico and offered him a contract. The songs that Nico wrote was amazing.

“Yeah?” Nico said, flashing Will a glance but returning his eyes back to where Rosa Diaz was arguing with Terry.

Will hummed as an answer. “And so, I was just wondering,” Will continued.

“What?”

“So, lots of the time, you just wrote the songs, and had other people sing it.”

That was something that Will had noticed. Nico only showed up in a few of his videos. In most of his other videos, there were these two girls that sang the song. Sometimes the two of them, or just one of them. In those videos, Nico would be the one playing the guitar in the background. Sometimes there would also be another tall guy with black hair who played the keyboard too.

“Uh huh,” Nico nodded. “Hazel. And Piper.”

“Hazel is your step-sister, right?”

Will knew this. Her name showed up every now and then in their conversation. Will even had the chance to meet her for two times.

“Yeah.”

“What about the other girl?”

“Oh, Piper?” Nico chuckled as he grabbed his own can of coke. “To be honest, she was the one who made me do the whole YouTube thing.”

“And Piper,” Will said. “She also had her own YouTube channel, right?”

Nico hummed his confirmation. “She does. I’ve told you, if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have done  the videos.”

A pang of weird feeling filled Will’s chest with something unpleasant.

“So, you and Piper? You two are friends or something?”

“Yeah. Since middle school.”

“Just friends?”

Will didn’t know where it came from. To be honest, he surprised himself to asked for more confirmation like that.

Nico stared at him incredulously, but also looking amused.

“Will, if this is your way of asking whether Piper was my girlfriend, then no, Piper is not my girlfriend.”

Will could feel a rush of heat all over his neck. But at the same time, he also felt a sense of relief.

“Oh?”

It was just incredible how he had no trouble to answer even the most impromptu interviews, but in front of Nico who had that glint in his eyes, he lost the most basic ability to form words.

Nico chuckled.

“Yeah,” Nico said, leaning back against the couch. “In fact,” he continued, turning his head to Will. “Piper would _never_ be my girlfriend.”

Will raised his eyebrows. “Not your type?”

Nico threw his head to the back as he laughed.

When he looked back at Will, there was a lopsided smirk on his lips.

“Will,” he said. “ _No_ girl, is my type.”

Will stared at Nico, trying to process it. After one or two seconds, the words finally sinking in.

Will blinked.

“Oh,” he said. “Cool.”

Nico chuckled, and turned his head back to watch the TV.

Will also turned his head back to the TV, but internally, he felt like he wanted to sing gleefully.

Well, now that he knew that Nico was also as straight as a rainbow, Will could let himself hope, right?

Just a little hope.

A few more seconds passed in silence between them. Until Nico called him.

“Hey, Will?”

“Hm?”

Will angled his neck to his right. Nico was staring at him, and there was a small smile on his lips. This time, it was more like a soft, gentle smile.

“I watched your video, you know. Your coming out video.”

Will’s heart skipped a beat.

He chuckled nervously, and ran a hand over his head. “Really?”

The video was something that he when he was just 18 years old. He was actually kind of surprised that Nico watched that one video. Yes, that video was one of his videos that got the most views. But still, it was something that he posted 5 years ago.

“Uh huh,” Nico hummed and nodded. “It was so brave of you, you know.”

Something fluttered pleasantly inside of Will. No, it wasn’t the first time that Will got that kind of comment for that particular video. But to hear it from Nico, whom Will might or might not, had some sort of a tiny little bit of a crush, it felt weirdly pleasant.

“Thanks,” Will said, can’t help to smile back at Nico.

Nico held his eyes at Will . “And I think it’s more than just…brave, you know? It’s inspiring.”

“I’m glad you find it so,” Will said. “I mean… Well…,” Will paused and let out a sigh before he continued. “I think one or my main intention at that time was… To let those who might also struggle with, you know,” Will paused again as he moved his hand vaguely. “I want them to know that they’re not alone. That there’s nothing wrong with them.”

Nico nodded. “I know.”

He chewed his lower lip, and the small smile on his lips was now a rather sentimental one.

“I wish I’ve found that video much earlier. I’m sure that it would have helped me a lot.”

Will tilted his head a bit. “Oh?”

Nico only hummed as an answer. He turned his head away from Will, back to the TV. But from the way his eyes were staring blankly, it didn’t seem that he was paying any attention to how Jake Peralta was making another Die Hard pun.

“Was it hard for you?” Will asked carefully.

Nico snorted lightly. He turned his head to Will. “Will, I was born and raised in Venice. And it’s not the most progressive place when it comes to this kind of thing.”

Will nodded in understanding. The small town where he grew up in Tennessee was also quite a conservative place, so he knew what Nico meant.

“When I was still a kid, I spent most Sundays, and some holidays in church,” Nico said as he looked back to Will. “My grandmother was a religious Catholic, you know,” Nico added. There was a small sentimental smile on his lips. “She always told us stories about angels and heaven and how heaven is such a beautiful place.”

Will said nothing, but he kept his eyes at Nico as he nodded, signaling Nico to continue.

“Nonna told me and Bianca to be good children, because only good people that can go to heaven.” Nico had his hands clasped on his lap, staring blankly at the TV.

Will stayed silent as he was watching the way Nico’s eyes glazed, with a sentimental look in those dark chocolate eyes. It was like Nico wasn’t really there for a moment. Like he was somewhere in the past. Somewhere back in his memory.

 

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I know that this chapter is much shorter than the previous ones but believe me I am currently writing the next chapter already so hey, hopefully by the end of this week I would be able to finish it and post it. To be honest I am so excited about the next chapter that I am writing and if it wasn't because of the revision (one of my committee members insisted that I needed to do some statistical calculation but whatever) and also the preparation for the commencement ceremony, I would have had finished it.  
> 2\. Kudos and comments are always loved <3  
> 3\. GOSH I MISS WRITING FICS I MISS WRITING ABOUT THESE TWO BOYS.


	6. Maybe I Don't Want Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will and Nico had a conversation about who they really were. They ended up writing a song about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Look at me updating this fic like what I have promised you, guys :D. I finally had the time to finish this up. The commencement ceremony was last Friday, and it was nice. I wore the same dress that I wore for my undergrad graduation and my Master's graduation. Haha.  
> 2\. As for this fic itself, some trigger warnings. This fic has parts about accepting your identity. There's some slightly implied homophobia, but nothing too extreme.

* * *

**_[Venice, a little more than 12 years ago]_ **

 

_Nico buried his face on his pillow. He felt ashamed for crying like this because he was almost ten now. And ten years old kid was not supposed to be a crying baby. But what his father just told him half an hour ago downstairs broke his heart. He still wanted to cry every time he remembered his mother, because he missed her so so much, and now he was going to lose Bianca too?_

_Even worse, all the thought that he had been trying to hide suddenly came to him again. The secrets that he was too afraid to even think about felt too suffocating._

_Everything was too overwhelming, Nico couldn’t fight back the tears and he just broke down into tears._

_He was too drowned in his misery, he didn’t hear the soft knock on his door. He didn’t hear the door creaked open, the soft footstep coming closer to his bed._

_He didn’t realize that his aunt, Hestia, sat on his bed until she raked her fingers gently through Nico’s hair. Nico turned his head, finding his aunt was looking at him with a small comforting smile._

_“It’s okay, tesoro,” Hestia said while kept on stroking his hair. “It’s going to be okay.”_

_Nico lifted himself up, and wrapped his arms around Hestia’s shoulder. He rested his face against her shoulder and let himself cry._

_“I don’t want Bianca to die,” he said in between his sobbing._

_Hestia ran her hand soothingly on Nico’s back. “None of us wants her to die, tesoro,” she whispered in his ear. “But we all want her not to be in pain anymore.”_

_Nico nodded, but still sobbing._

_“And in Heaven, she will no longer be in pain.”_

_With his head still on her shoulder, Nico nodded again._

_“Bianca might not be with us, Nico. But she will be in Heaven, happy and healthy again.”_

_Nico angled his neck. “Zia Hestia, Bianca is going to Heaven, isn’t she?”_

_Hestia nodded. “She is. She’s been a good girl. She’ll be with your Mamma there,” Hestia paused but kept on stroking his back. She pulled back a bit, just so she could look at Nico in the eyes._

_“And one day, all of us, you and me and Bianca and your mamma, we will all be together in Heaven.”_

_And Nico broke down again. He sobbed, burying his face on Hestia’s shoulders._

_“I… I can’t, Zia,” he said in between his sobs. “I can’t go to Heaven.”_

_Hestia carefully pulled herself from Nico. With one hand holding his shoulder gently, Hestia wiped the tears from Nico’s cheek with her right hand._

_“Of course you can, Nico,” Hestia said. Her voice was soft but so full of determination, Nico almost believed in her. “You’re a good boy. I know it.”_

_Almost._

_But then he thought of Mattia and how people were whispering stories about him flooded his mind._

_Mattia, the young man with a pair of brown eyes and a kind smile who lived just down the streets. Mattia, the young man whom Nico thought looked like the handsome prince in the books that he read._

_Nico shook his head again. “I can’t,” he said, half- whispering._

_“Why can’t you?”_

_Nico looked up at his aunt, eyes brimming with tears._

_“Zia,” he said, voice even lower now. “I…” he paused, hesitant to tell his aunt one of his biggest secrets. He stared at Hestia, wondering whether he could trust her._

_He decided he might._

_“Zia,” he said. “I… I don’t like the princesses in the stories,” Nico confessed with trembling voice._

_Much to Nico’s relief, Hestia didn’t seem to be upset or mad about it. Her kind and soft expression didn’t change. She even looked interested as she tilted her head to the left._

_“And?”_

_Nico blinked his eyes, slightly confused. But her expression and the gentle look in her eyes were the encouragements that Nico needed._

_“I… I like the princes, Zia,” he whispered. “Not the princesses.”_

_Hestia curled up her lips into a small warm smile. “And what makes you think that you can’t go to Heaven because of that?”_

_Nico stared at Hestia, confused and relieved and some other emotions, all mixed up._

_He remembered that one day when he walked passed by Mattia’s house one day, when another guy was talking with Mattia over the brick fence. He remembered seeing Mattia, arms folded on the top of the brick fence, leaning forward just a bit as he laughed with sparkling eyes. He remembered how the other guy beamed a smile as he stared at Mattia as if Mattia was the only thing that he cared to look at._

_Nico thought that Mattia and that guy were like two princes. And for a fleeting second he wondered why there wasn’t any books or stories about two princes who looked at each other like the way Mattia and that guy looked at each other._

_“But Zia,” Nico said, voice shaking. “Noona said people like Mattia could not go to Heaven.”_

_That’s what his Noona told him that day. She grabbed Nico’s hand and pulled him, forcing him to go faster with her, as she hastily made a cross sign over her chest._

_Nico remembered that. He remembered the expression on his grandmother’s face as she shook her head gloomily. He remembered how she murmured about how Mattia was a poor soul, a good man but a poor soul._

_Hestia sighed and there was a hard expression on her face. An expression that a 10-year old Nico still could not understand. For a while, she said nothing. And it made Nico get nervous as he thought, this was it. This was when his aunt would get mad at him and told him that he didn’t belong in Heaven._

_“Nico,” Hestia said. “Has Mattia ever done anything that hurt you, or your sister, or other people?”_

_Nico frowned a bit as he tried to think about what Hestia just asked him. But really, he couldn’t even imagine Mattia did anything bad. So he shook his head._

_Hestia now had a tiny smile as she asked him another question._

_“Do you think Mattia is a good person, Nico?”_

_Nico thought about Mattia’s kind smile. He thought of that one time when Mattia gave him a bar of chocolate, and told him to share it with Bianca. He thought of that one day when he saw Mattia helped that old lady bringing some of her groceries._

_He nodded._

_“So why can’t Mattia go to Heaven?” Hestia asked her again._

_Nico stunned at this question. He tried to come up with an answer, but all that he could think of was only the things that his grandmother and her friends have been whispering. “But,” he said, this time hesitantly, “Noona said…” he stopped there, suddenly feeling so confused._

_Hestia’s smile was a comforting one as she caressed Nico’s cheek. “Nico,” she said. “Noona is a great person. And I know that you love her. But again, Noona is just… a human. And no matter how kind, how lovely, how perfect a human is, God is the one, the only one, who has the right to decide who goes to Heaven, and who’s not.”_

_Nico stared at Hestia as her words sinking in his brain._

_“So…” he whispered. His voice was trembling a little, but this time because of a fragile hope. “People like Mattia can still go to Heaven?”_

_Hestia’s smile was as warm as her eyes as she nodded, gently rubbing the trail of tears on Nico’s cheek._

_“Of course, tesoro. As long as someone always tries their best to do good to other, and never, intentionally, hurt other people, then why can’t they go to Heaven?”_

*******

Nico stared blankly at the TV screen in front of them. That conversation with his aunt happened so long ago, almost 13 years ago. But now after he told Will his story, the memories flooded back in his mind. It took him a while before he realized that Will too, had been silent.

“So yeah,” Nico said as he ran a hand over his head, turning his head back to Will. ‘Come to think of it, I came out to my aunt when I was 10 years old without even realizing it.”

He chuckled lightly, trying to lighten the mood. Will still kept his eyes at Nico, his blue eyes looked deep in thoughts.

“What do you think it would look like? Heaven?” Will asked.

It wasn’t the kind of question that Nico expected. Nico stayed quiet for a while, staring at the floor as he pondered on Will’s question.

He sighed, and turned to Will, with a tiny humorless smile.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged his shoulders. “I… I haven’t really thought about it for a while.”

Yes, he was born and raised in a Roman Catholic family. But after Bianca has gone, things started to happen and slowly, he just drifted away from what used to be something big in his life. There were times when he thought about those times with some sort of warm nostalgic feeling. But to be honest, he couldn’t decide whether it was the longing for his childhood memories or the faith itself.

“Sometimes I wonder about it, you know,” Will said, making Nico lift his gaze up back to him. “What kind of place it would be. How do I get there without,” Will’s voice faltered a bit before he continued, “how do I get there without changing a part of me.”

“Heaven supposed to be the place where everyone is eternally happy, isn’t it?”

Will bit his lower lip before he nodded. “I guess?”

“How can someone be happy if they have to be someone that they are not?”

Will didn’t answer him. His expression was unreadable.

“I don’t know,” Nico said. He let out a long sigh. “But if I have to lose a piece of myself, if I have to change from who I really am…” Nico paused. “… then maybe I don’t want Heaven.”

Silence.

“How about you?” Nico looked back at Will. “What’s your story?”

Will pulled his knees up, putting his arms around them. He didn’t say anything for a while, gazing blankly at the nothing. Nico stayed quiet too, letting Will take the time he needed.

“My dad is a doctor. A surgeon,” Will finally said. “And well, you know… he kind of…wanted his children to continue his path.”

Nico nodded.

“My younger brother, Michael? He’s always been the brightest student in his class. And me?” Will paused and shrugged his shoulder. “I wasn’t a bad student. I got good grades. Above average. But still…”

He turned to flash a small hollow smile at Nico. A smile that clenched Nico’s heart.

“I got good grades. But he got better grades than me. And well, I am the older brother, Neeks. I supposed to be the one setting up the standard. I was the one who supposed to be the role model.”

“Who said so?”

“Nobody,” Will answered. “But I guess a younger version of myself already had this tendency to set up a,” Will waved his hand vaguely, “this sort of expectation for myself.”

Will sighed. “And Michael had decided that he wanted to be like Dad, he wanted to be a doctor, ever since he was only like, 5? 6 years old?”

Will propped his chin on his folded knees. “And me? I didn’t want to,” he said. With his eyes fixed on tall in front of him, it was more like he was talking to instead of to Nico.

“I just… I just didn’t want to. It’s not something that I want,” Will said. He sighed. “And me not wanting to be like my dad?” He stopped and turned his head to Nico. “I felt like it’s another disappointment for my family, for my dad.”

“But you’re not, Will.”

Will gave him another sad smile. “Try to tell that to a 12-year old me.”

Nico suddenly had this urge to wrap his arms around Will, and pull him into a hug.

Will looked away again from Nico.

“I started to realize that I might be…gay, when I was thirteen. And I started asking myself so many questions.”

“Like what?”

Will snorted lightly. “Questions like… Is it really me or my heart has mistaken me all this time? Does God hate me? Why He made me this way then if He’s just going to hate me? Will my family hate me if they find out about this? Is it just going to be another disappointment for my family?”

“Tough questions, dude.”

Will chuckled. And to see a vague smile on his face made Nico’s heart a bit lighter.

“Anyway, “Will said as he stretched his legs back down. He took one of the throw pillows and hugged it instead. “I… I told myself, okay, let’s wait until I turned fifteen, and then let’s see what happened next.”

“So you wait?”

Will hummed as he nodded. “Yeah. It was like, as days went by, I kept on counting to the days I turned fifteen.”

“Counting down to fifteen?”

“Counting down to fifteen.”

“What happened then?”

Will took a deep breath and exhaled it out in a long sigh. “I… I came out to my father.”

“How did it go?”

This time, there was a smile on Will’s lips. “It was… I should say that it was quite well. Emotional, but it went quite well. Better than what I had imagined before.”

He let out a small nervous laugh and glanced at Nico. “You watched the video, right?”

Nico nodded, curling up a tiny smile that he hoped a reassuring one.

“I did. And let me just say that it’s so brave of you to make that video, Will.”

Will ran his fingers through his hair. “Uhm… Thanks…”

“I just hope that you no longer feel that you’re not a disappointment. Because you’re not.”

Will’s eyes were soft when he stared back at Nico.

“Will. You’re so brave and you have to know that a lot of people look up to you. That’s something to be proud of. I am proud of you.”

Will looked away for a second and he blinked quickly a couple of times, like he was trying to hold back his tears. When he turned his head back to Nico, he had a vague smile, and his voice was breaking a little when he replied.

“Thanks.”

Nico nodded. There was this sudden urge inside of him to wrap his arms around Will, and just pull him into his embrace.

Nico looked away instead and picked up the remote control.

“I don’t think I’ve watched that episode yet,” he said, gesturing with his chin to the screen. “Should we watch it?” He asked, angling his neck a little to Will.

Will, looking more relaxed now, stretched his legs back to the coffee table.

“Sure,” he answered. He looked at Nico, a small grin on his face, eyes shining a bit brighter now. “Besides, Peralta is kind of cute.”

None of them saying anything about the fact that they watched 5 more episodes of the series with their shoulders touching each other.

 

*******

Will opened his eyes. He stared at the ceiling, feeling lighter than usual. He stayed quiet for a while, lying on his bed, enjoying the peaceful morning.

Then he heard it.

Someone was playing the keyboard in his living room.

Nico, Will thought to himself as he sat up. Last night, after watching five (or was it the six?) episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Nico announced that he was too tired to drive back to his place. So he stayed over, sleeping on the couch, the usual place where he would sleep whenever he spent the night at Will.

Will get off the bed, and padded to the door that he left slightly ajar last night. He opened the door carefully, and just like what he suspected, Nico was sitting on the bench, playing the keyboard. For a second or two, Will let himself enjoy the sight. Will then made his way to where Nico was, and stopped just a step away from him. Nico stopped playing, and looked up at Will. His smile was a small one but bright. His eyes were dark but smiling along.

“Hey, there.”

“That sounds lovely,” Will said.

“Thanks.”

“Is it new?”

Nico ran his fingers through his hair, that looked a bit damp. He probably washed his face before started playing.

“Kind of,” Nico said, shrugging his shoulders lightly. “You know, what we talked about last night? It’s…kind of made me think.”

Will raised his eyebrows as a rush of excitement surged through his vein. “Really?” He said as he pulled a swiveled chair closer, and sat on it.

“What do you have in mind?”

Nico grabbed a few sheets of paper that from the top of the keyboard, and gave it to Will. Will quickly read Nico’s handwriting there.

He recognized some words that Nico had written as possible lyrics, and his heart beat faster. He looked up at Nico, as the familiar feeling of excitement about creating another piece of music ran inside of him.

“Nico? This is brilliant!”

 

*******

Will already had a grin on his face when he opened the door for Lee.

Lee on the other hand had a slightly annoyed look on his face. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Okay, Will. If I really have to be here on a Friday evening, then it’s better be a for a good reason.”

Will’s grin got brighter as he opened the door wider.

“Oh, believe me, Lee. This is for a very good reason.”

Lee only rolled his eyes as he stepped in. He made his way to the living room area, where Kayla was already sitting on the couch.

“Hey, Nico. How is it going?” He greeted Nico who was sitting in one of the armchairs, absently playing some random notes.

Nico looked up from the guitar and nodded at Lee. “I’m good.”

Lee sat down on the couch, next to Kayla.

“Did Will call you too to came here?” Lee turned his head to look at Kayla.

“Yeah.”

“Has he told you yet what is going on?”

Kayla shook his head. “Nope. He said to wait for you. Nico refused to talk too.”

From where he was sitting, Nico snorted lightly at the mention of his name. Kayla and Lee stared at him as he peeked up at them, but he just shrugged his shoulders. He looked down again and continued strumming his guitar.

“You’ll see,” he said without looking at them. Lee and Kayla only exchanged looks.

Will showed up, pulling a black swivel with him. He stopped right next to the armchair where Nico was sitting. He sat on it, straddling the chair.

“So, here’s the thing,” he said. “Nico and I had a…very interesting conversation-“

“And what was the conversation about?” Lee asked, cutting Will mid-sentence.

“You’ll see,” Will said, waving his hand dismissively. “Anyway, that conversation somehow made Nico have the inspiration for this amazing song-“

“It was also because of you, you know. We kind of write it together then.” This time it was Nico who cut Will in the middle of his sentence.

Will angled his neck a little to Nico, feeling a sudden rush of warmth on his face.

“Uh… Yeah. But still, you’re the one who first came up with the idea,” Will said, smiling shyly.

“And still, we wrote it together, Will. And it’s all started with our conversation, to be honest,” Nico said, slightly smiling.

 “I hate to interrupt this adorable moment where you are complimenting each other because it’s actually really cute. But can I please, have a further explanation about something that you write together?” Lee held up his hand.

Will turned his head to his producer, who had a nonchalant expression on his face. But his eyes were twinkling with something. Next to him, Kayla wasn’t so subtle in hiding her amused expression.

“Uh, yeah,” Will said. He cleared his throat as he adjusted the chair a little so he was now facing Lee and Kayla.

“Anyway. Basically, Nico and I, we spent the last two days or something writing this new song-“

“Is that why Nico is wearing one your shirt now?”

Will choked on nothing. From the corner of his eyes, he could see how Nico’s face turned into the color of a ripe strawberry.  The dark-haired guy was indeed, wearing one of Will’s shirt. It’s a dark gray one, one of the few dark-colored shirts that Will had.

“Maybe. But that’s not the point,” Will said quickly, running his hand over his head.

“Of course. Of course that’s not the point,” Lee said, quirking a half-smirk. “The point is apparently you and Nico have written a song together.”

Will tried to ignore the teasing tone in Lee’s voice.

“Yeah. And honestly, I feel like so far, this is like, the most meaningful, important songs that I, I mean we, have ever written. And Lee, I want to have this song in my upcoming EP. Probably even make it as the next single to be released.”

This time Lee’s expression turned to be a more intrigued one.

“Okay,” he said. “Care to share?”

Will grinned. “That’s why I ask you guys to come here.”

As if on cue, Nico adjusted his position and his guitar. Will turned his head to Nico.

“Ready when you are,” he told Nico. Nico had a small smile on his lips as he nodded.

Will took a deep breath as he moved into a more comfortable position on his seat.

“One, two, three,” Nico counted in a low voice, then started playing the first notes of the song that they just wrote. And Will started to sing.

 

 _The truth runs wild, like a tear down a cheek_  
_Trying to save face, and daddy heartbreak  
_ _I'm lying through my teeth_

 _This voice inside has been eating at me  
_ _Trying to replace the love that I fake with what we both need_

 

Will’s heart clenched as he recalled the times when he was so scared, thinking that he just became another disappointment for his father.

  _The truth runs wild, like kids on concrete_  
_Trying to sedate my mind in its cage  
__And numb what I see_

_Awake, wide-eyed_ _I'm screaming at me  
_ _Trying to keep faith and picture his face staring up at me_

 

Will flashed a glance at Nico, who seemed to lost somewhere in his own world as he played his guitar. Will continued singing.

 

 _Without losing a piece of me  
_ _How do I get to heaven?_

 _Without changing a part of me  
_ _How do I get to heaven?_

 

He couldn’t help but think of a younger version of Nico, thinking about whether he belonged in this place called Heaven.

 _All my time is wasted f_ _eeling like my heart's mistaken, oh_  
_So if I'm losing a piece of me,  
_ _Maybe I don't want heaven?_

 

As he sang, Will thought about the questions that he himself had in his mind, questions that he felt like were also the questions that other people also had when they started to question their identity, started to wonder about who they really were.

 

 _The truth runs wild, like the rain to the sea_  
_Trying to set straight the lines that I trace_  
_To find some relief_  
_This voice inside has been eating at me_  
_Trying to embrace the picture I paint  
_ _And colour me free_

 

Will closed his eyes as he was singing, but flashes of memories when he joined his first Pride parade were reeling in his mind like an old movie. He opened his eyes back, and sang the refrain again.

 

 _Without losing a piece of me_  
_How do I get to heaven?_  
_Without changing a part of me  
_ _How do I get to heaven?_

 

 _All my time is wasted_  
_Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh_  
_So if I'm losing a piece of me  
_ _Maybe I don't want heaven?_

 

Something swelled with so many emotions inside of Will as he sang the bridge. He remembered the days that he went through, counting down to the time when he decided he would tell the truth to his family.

 

 _So I'm counting to fifteen  
_ _Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen_

 _So I'm counting to fifteen  
_ _Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen_

 _So I'm counting to fifteen  
_ _Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen_

 _So I'm counting to fifteen  
_ _Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen._

 

The melodies coming from Nico’s guitar went back to a slower tempo, as Will sang the chorus again for the last time.

 

 _Without losing a piece of me_  
_How do I get to heaven?_  
_Without changing a part of me  
_ _How do I get to heaven?_

 

 _All my time is wasted_  
_Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh_  
_So if I'm losing a piece of me  
_ _Maybe I don't want heaven?_

 

Nico played the last notes of the song softly. Once the music died down completely, Will looked up at Kayla and Lee in front of him. A part of himself felt so emotional, as he felt like the song that he just sang was something that meant a lot to him and Nico. But there was also a small part of him that was almost freaking out, dying to know what Kayla and Lee would think about the song.

Neither of the two people in front of him say anything. They almost looked like in a trance or something. And it might just be because of the trick from the light, but Kayla’s eyes looked like they were glassy with a thin layer of tears.

After a few seconds passed by in silence, Will cleared his throat.

“So?” He asked nervously. “What do you guys think?"

Kayla blinked, then she quickly shook her head, like she was trying to collect herself together. Lee leaned forward a little, and there was a small genuine smile on his lips.

“Will, Nico…” he said, and he paused. “ _That_ , is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard.”

Will let out his breath in relief.

In front of him, Lee continued talking. “And seriously guys, I just love the fact that the song is not just beautiful, but it also has a very strong message.”

“It is indeed,” Kayla agreed.

“I don’t really know what was the conversation that you had with Nico that made you two come up with such beautiful piece of music, but I am just glad that you guys did it.”

Lee clapped his hands on his thighs and stood up.

“Since you said that you two had been working on this song for the last two days, I would suggest you two take days off this weekend. But we will make sure that this song would be the first thing that we will work on in the studio next Monday, okay?”

“Cool!” Will said, feeling the lightness in his chest filled him up with warm air.

Kayla also stood up.

“I am completely being honest when I say that song is just beautiful,” she said with a sincere smile. “Awesome job, Will, Nico,” she added, nodding at the two of them.

Will walked Lee and Kayla to the door.

“I’ll see you and Nico on Monday in the studio, then,” Lee said.

“Awesome. We’ll see you next week in the studio,” Will said. After Lee and Kayla made their way out, Will closed the door and locked it.

He walked back to the living room, where Nico was already moved to sit on the couch. He still had his guitar and were fiddling with it. Will stopped by the couch and Nico looked up at him.

Nico’s smile was soft and gentle but the light in his eyes was twinkling.

“I guess we did a decent job?” He asked.

Will let out a small laugh, and then sat next to Nico.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he said. “And I am glad I did it with you.”

 

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The song quoted in this fic is Heaven by Troye Sivan. I personally feel like this song has a very strong message, and to be honest, I broke down into tears the first time I listened to this song. And I cried again when I watched the MV.  
> 2\. I know that most of you might have your own headcanon about how Nico looked like. But lately since James Bay cut his hair short, somehow I had this mental image that Nico looked like him. And I wrote the part where Will found Nico was playing the keyboard in the morning while looking back and forth at this picture: http://thebluesideofmyworld.tumblr.com/post/173364068404  
> 3\. Kudos and comments are always loved <3


	7. Take Me to the Basics and the Simple Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will was tired. Home felt so far away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The title of the chapter if from Troye Sivan's song: EASE. And well, basically this chapter is based on that song.  
> 2\. I know that it's been AGES since the last time I updated this fic. But I have reasons.

* * *

Will clutched his phone tighter. He tried to smile. Even though his mother couldn’t see him, he hoped that at least that smile could somehow make him sound a bit happier. Or at least, not as miserable as he actually was.

“Yes, Mama. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure about it?”

Apparently, that smile that he was faking didn’t fool his mom.  Will should have known better than trying to lie about how he was doing to Naomi, considering she was one of the few people who knew Will so well.

“Yeah,” Will said as he stepped in to the elevator. “I’m just…tired.”

He stared at his own reflection on the glassy surface of the elevator. His own reflection stared back at him with dull blue eyes. Will couldn’t really deny that yeah, probably all this traveling that he had been doing to promote his EP was starting to get the best of him.

“Oh, honey.”

His mother’s voice sounded softer now, but still laced with concerns.

“it’s okay, Mom,” Will said. “It’s… You know,” he paused as the elevator dinged and opened at his floor.

“It’s part of my life now,” Will said as he walked out of the elevator. He wasn’t sure whether he said that to his mom or he was just trying to give himself some sort of pep talk.

“I know, honey.” She let out a long sigh. “I just hope that you don’t have to work so hard.”

Will inserted his key and unlock the door. “It’s fine, Mama. Don’t worry.”

He walked in and closed the door behind him. “You know that music is something that I love.”

No, he wasn’t lying. He loved music. He’d always loved it and he honestly couldn’t think of doing something else.

But the thing was, being an artist involved more than just writing music and singing songs. It was a lot more than that.

“Can’t you take a break for a while? You know, come home and have a proper rest here?”

Will felt a lump formed in his throat. _If only_ it was that easy. “I can’t, Ma. I’m sorry,” he said. “I wish I could, but I can’t.”

He wished he could. He wished he could go back to his simple life back in that small town in Tennessee. He wished he could have his mama hold him tight until he fell asleep.

“Will…”

The lump in his throat swelled.

Wil sat on the couch and leaned back. He shut his eyes closed, but he still had the mental image of his mom. Suddenly he missed home, even more than before.

“Hey, Ma? I need to go now,” Will said. He didn’t think he could talk with his mom much longer without breaking down. “I just got back in my apartment and I want to eat something before I go to bed.”

“Okay, hun,” his Mom said. “Sleep well, okay?”

“Okay, Mom.”

“And don’t eat too much of that junk food,” his mom added. “And drink a lot of water, okay?”

Will’s lips stretched up to form a small smile. Five or six years ago, he would roll his eyes on how his mother fussing about him. But now he realized that it’s just one of Naomi’s way of showing how much she loved and cared about him.

“Yes, Mom.”

Naomi sighed. “I wish you didn’t have to live by yourself there.”

“I have my friends here, Mom,” Will said. He wasn’t lying. He knew that his friends care about him and wouldn’t hesitate to come to his apartment if he asked them to.

But still.

“I know,” his mother said and sighed.

It took another minute of trying to convince Naomi that yes, he was alright (Will knew it was a lie) and no, Naomi didn’t have to come to NYC (not actually a lie but Will wished she was here with him) before she finally ended the call.

Pulling his knees up and held them with both arms, Will stared at how the screen of his phone slowly faded into blackness. In one of his good days, talking with his mom and siblings on the phone was a good reminder that his family was just a call away. But no. This wasn’t one of those days. Today was one of the days where the reality that he could only talk to them on the phone was a cold reminder that home was so far away.

Will felt so alone. And he felt like the silence around him was getting thicker and thicker, it became almost suffocating.

The almost too loud sound coming from his phone startled him.

Seeing that it was Nico’s picture that was flashing on the screen, it took only half a second for Will to grab the phone.

“Hello?” Will gripped the phone in his phone, only half-aware that his hand was trembling a little.

“Hey,” Nico’s voice greeted him back. Will could mentally picture that small lazy smile that Nico had along with his deep sultry voice. “How was the trip?”

Will bit his lower lip before he answered.

“Was okay.”

Nico probably sensed that it took Will half a beat too long before answering, as Will could hear the slight change in his voice.

“Where are you now?” Nico asked. “Are you home yet?”

The lump in his throat swelled a little bigger.

“My apartment.”

 _Apartment_. Not _home_. This place was _not_ home. Home was too far away.

“Will.” The concern in Nico’s voice became more evident now. “Are you okay?”

Will tried to swallow. It was hard. He wanted to say that he was okay. He wanted to believe the lie that he was making to others and to himself.

But he couldn’t take it anymore.

“No,” Will said, shaking his head. “I…I’m not.”

“I’m on my way there,” Nico said without even losing a beat. “You want me keep talking to you?”

Will gripped his phone tighter. He closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath. He opened his eyes again, slowly.

“It’s okay,” he said, half-whispering. “I think I want to lie down now.”

“I’ll be there soon, Will,” Nico said. Will could hear Nico’s footsteps. “I have the keys to your apartment, okay?”

Will nodded, even though he knew Nico couldn’t see him. Some people might find it a bit risky, giving another set of key to someone that you just knew for a few months. But Nico wasn’t just someone.  There was something about Nico that made Will trust him.

“Okay,” Wil whispered. Suddenly even just talking made him feel so exhausted.

“I’ll be there soon, sunshine. Wait for me, okay?”

“Okay,” Will said, not caring that it seemed to be the only word that he could say at the moment.

“Hang on there for me, okay?”

Will whispered another okay before ending the call. Still clutching the phone in his hand, he stood up slowly, and made his way to the bedroom.

*******

 

 

Will opened his eyes, finding the light blue ceiling staring back at him. Then something made him turn his head to his right.

 _Maybe I am still dreaming_ , Will thought to himself when he saw Nico by his bed.

Will blinked slowly. But Nico was still there. Nico was really there.

“Nico?” Will’s voice was barely audible.

Kneeling next to the bed with his arms folded on the mattress, he looked at Will with a soft smile on his lips.

“Hey, sunshine.”

“You’re here.”

Nico nodded. “I am.”

Will tried to say something. Maybe a thank you. Or asking why Nico was there. Or how he had missed him during that one-week trip that he just had.

But he couldn’t. He was so tired to the bone, that even just saying something simple became a hard task for his brain.

“How are you feeling?” Nico asked, tilting his head to the left as he kept his eyes at Will’s.

Will could have just answered that he was okay. That he was just tired. That it was just the jet lag or some stupid things like that. But it would mean that he’d be lying. And it’s like he had been lying to so many people.

So Will just shrugged his shoulders.

Nico nodded, and Will was glad that he didn’t ask anything further.

“It’s okay,” Nico said, his voice soft and comforting. “It will be alright, okay?”

Nico reached out to him, and slowly raked his fingers through Will’s hair. Will closed his eyes. Nico’s touch was soothing, and Will found that focusing on the way Nico’s fingers running through his hair made his breathing a bit easier.

Will opened his eyes again.

“Hold me?” Will asked, hesitant, but almost pleading.

For a split second, something flashed across Nico’s face.

But maybe Will was hallucinating or it was simply just the light playing tricks on his face, because Nico now was smiling at him again.

“Sure, sunshine.”

Will’s chest felt lighter.

He shifted as Nico climbed up the bed and leaned his back on the headboard. Then he let Nico carefully scooped him up and arranged their position, so now he had his head resting comfortably on Nico’s chest. Nico gently wrapped one of his arms around Will’s waist. The warm weight of Nico’s arm around him was like the anchor that held him to reality and the present.

Will closed his eyes again, letting himself being wrapped in the warmth of Nico holding him. Nico said nothing, but his presence and his embrace were enough for Will to make him feel a bit better.

Slowly, the invisible stones inside Will’s chest dissipated. Slowly, breathing got easier and easier for him.

Slowly, the silence turned from a suffocating one to be a peaceful one.

Will opened his eyes, and angled his neck so he could look at Nico. “Talk to me?”

Nico’s lips curved into a half-moon smile. “What do you want me to talk about?”

Will shrugged and pressed his cheek a bit closer to Nico’s chest.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Anything,” Will said, absently played with a loose thread from the hem of Nico’s grey sweater.

Will lifted his face a little to meet Nico’s eyes again. “Just… tell me simple things? Things about your life?”

Will just wanted to hear Nico’s voice. He just wanted Nico to tell him about things that can remind him of a simple life.

The kind of life that Will used to have.

Nico hummed. “I ate one whole can of Pringles today in one sitting, and I’m not sorry at all about it,” Nico said.

Will’s eyes widen in shock, then he let out a laugh.

“What?” Nico asked him. He had a neutral expression, but his eyes were twinkling with laughter.

Will shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. “I just think I like Doritos more than Pringles.”

“You have made a mistake. But it’s not too late to change your mind about it.”

Will let out another small laughter. And it felt good. To finally laugh again over something so silly like that.

“Keep talking,” Wills aid as he rested his head back on Nico’s chest. Nico’s sweater felt soft against his cheek, and Will could smell the faint scent of cinnamon from it.

“Hazel sent me a picture of Cerberus today.”

Will smiled. Nico had shown him some pictures of that dog.

“I want to meet him,” Will said. “I love dogs.”

“Maybe you should get one.”

“I want to. One day.”

“One day. You’ll get a golden retriever.”

“Why?”

“Because you yourself is a personification of a golden retriever, Will.”

Will laughed again. “Maybe. Then I will name him Anubis.”

“Geez, that’s like the worst name ever for a dog. Especially for a golden retriever.”

Nico continued talking about his dog. And his sister. He talked about how it was raining yesterday, how Jason kept on talking about wanting to take Piper out on a date but still had no idea on how to ask her. He talked about how Leo’s date with a girl named Calypso turned to involve activating the fire alarm in Calypso’s apartment. Nico kept on talking, and his soft voice sounded like a lullaby.

Nico ran his fingers up and down Will’s arm soothingly. “Do you like the sea?”

Will hummed. He liked the beach and the sea, even though he could rarely go to a beach. He started thinking that he might have to go to a beach soon.

“Think about walking on the beach,” Nico said.

Will nodded, and closed his eyes. Nico kept talking, about walking on the beach, when the sky started to change color into amber. He talked about the sound of the waves, crashing at the seashore, and the seagulls flying above.

Nico talked about the beach and the sea. And Will thought about walking on the beach and watching the sea with Nico.

Nico’s voice and his own thoughts lulled him to sleep.

The last thing that he heard before falling asleep was Nico’s voice, telling him that things will be alright.

The last thing that he remembered before falling asleep was how after so long, he finally felt at ease.

*******

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. First of all, no matter how cliche it is, I really do apologize that I haven't updated this fic (or basically, for haven't written anything AT ALL) for ages. A few of you might already know that I finally graduated and returned to my home country. I returned to my home country in June, and I go back to my teaching job (I am teaching 4 courses this semester and it's crazy to think that a few months ago I was the student and now I am the one standing in front of the class giving the lecture). It's been months but I am still trying to adapt (or re-adapt?) with everything so again, I'm sorry that I haven't really gotten the time to write. I WANT TO GUYS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I MISS WRITING FICS :( (but now I am back where people expect me to write something more 'serious and academic')  
> 2\. Tumblr is blocked in my country and I've tried to use VPN but it's just so slow and it gets just so frustrating to access it (HELLO MY TUMBLR MUTUALS I MISS YOU SO MUCH I MISS BEING ON TUMBLR I MISS YOU ALL). So instead of on Tumblr I am now spending more time on Twitter and Instagram (@utamiirawati) please come and talk to me I hate adulting in real life I need someone I can talk to about simple and silly things I can't even be a proper fangirl.  
> 3\. Thank you for reading. THANK YOU. You have no idea how much it means to me to know that some of you are still reading my stuff.  
> 4\. Okay I am going to stop now because I feel like I want to cry now I just miss writing so much.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think of this or simply just scream at me about this whole non-snese I call as an AU fic on my tumblr: thebluesideofmyworld


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